mamaerniebert my Sims wear clothing from each category no matter what their pronouns or orientations are. But I make sure to remove any clothing likes/dislikes. If your Sims are getting tense because of what they are wearing I'd go into CAS and clear those. I use the clothing colour likes for things like attraction levels, but I stopped using the clothing category likes/dislikes. Personally I'd like them all mixed without the masculine/feminine category with the option to split them by filter if I so choose.
If this isn't the issue in your game, are you using any mods by any chance?