Need Advice - my first sim death and funeral

In my experience, a holiday from Seasons or a club gathering with sad/mourning club activities from Get Together works better than just a straight party for funerals. For the holiday, you can add the Remembrance tradition, which will prompt the NPCs and your own sims (if you have autonomy turned on) to go mourn at the grave or urn every once in a while. Then you can throw a non-goaled party on the holiday to gather Sims from outside the household. Also, with Seasons, you can have a sim with a high flower arranging skill scent some arrangementsfor the funeral with dahlias to get everyone in a sad mood for your screenshots.

As for whether sims will notice your sim's death if they're not present... I'm not sure. I feel like I've had it go either way. Adult children living in separate households definitely get a sad buff for a couple days after their parents pass away, but I think I've also had sims even in the same household (both relatives and non-relatives, but certainly with strong relationships with the dead sim) not be affected at all. I think getting your hands on some items that emit a sad buff for the funeral would be a good idea just in case your sim's death totally floats over the heads of her loved ones.