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EnkiSchmidt's avatar
EnkiSchmidt
Hero
2 years ago

The truth about mini goats!!! (satire)

I was uncertain whether to post this in the positive or the negative thoughts thread. On the one hand, I see the issue with bottle feeding adult specimens, but on the other hand I’m looking forward to the little buggers.

Since I don’t own the pack yet, I have to make do with cc and poses for the comic I have in mind.

Meet the Phillips family, who lives in the penthouse in San Myshuno.

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-38-380pf70.png

One afternoon in January, Caroline returns home from an interior designer gig. She is welcomed by her daughter’s piano play, supervised by an extremely lifelike servo by name of Daniel.

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-42-40c1de1.png

“Johnny! Emma! I’m home!”

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-45-267ped8.png

“Come to the kitchen, honey! I want to show you something!”

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-45-58oaetu.png

Caroline approaches…

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-46-327mduh.png

…and SHRIEKS!

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-47-0505d4g.png

“John, what is a miniature goat doing in our kitchen?”

“Haha, you’ll want to know, don’t you? Let me show you something neat!”

https://abload.de/img/28.07.23_23-56-0845ij2.png

*gulp, gulp*

“You put in milk like this…”

https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-01-036wi60.png

“Would you put the goat on the counter, Daniel?”

“Uh, sure. - Heave-ho!”

https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-04-535eech.png

“Watch me closely, Daniel! This is going to be your job from now on!”

Daniel wants to protest, wants to state that he has neither the software nor the experience and, most importantly, not the slightest inclination to play ranch hand for his owners. But what happens next has the servo speechless:

John extracts milk from the mini goat he has just bottle fed. With milk.

So what is this? A baby goat that feeds on milk – or an adult that produces milk? Because both at the same time isn’t possible.

https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-05-08z0e9k.png

“Ha! Nothing like a glass of fresh milk to wind down after a hard day of work! And a blue one for you, Daniel.”

https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-05-36kzf1b.png

“HOW, John? How did you do that? And I don’t even want to ask “why”, just… how?”

(One more post coming)
funny
  • EnkiSchmidt's avatar
    EnkiSchmidt
    Hero
    2 years ago
    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-09-07a0d0o.png

    “Hello, I’m Emma! Do you want to be friends? Can I pet you?”

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-10-55u7ddq.png

    While the child attempts to befriend the new family member, Daniel and Caroline still stand gape-jawed. They exchange glances that betray their puzzlement and worry for John’s sanity.

    “I can show you”, John tells them, then points a remote control at the goat…

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-11-45vnci8.png

    …who immediately keels over.

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-12-51nyiow.png

    “Oh, no”, sobs Emma. “We shouldn’t have milked her. She was too young… What have we DONE, dad…”

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-13-2531i7l.png

    “You made Emma cry! Of all the irresponsible PLUM I’ve had to put up with you, that’s the worst! YOU are the worst!”

    “What’s gotten under your skin? Glitching a little?”

    “Well, and you have a screw loose!”

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-14-56xrdfj.png

    It’s days like these when Caroline strongly considers replacing either her servo, her husband or both with a better model, one she could get seen in public with without getting embarrassed. But that hasn’t priority now. Comforting Emma has, and so Caroline moves towards her daughter, coming uncomfortably close to stepping on the dead goat.

    Meanwhile John has ordered Daniel to sit down.

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-18-43xpd1f.png

    “The “baby goat” really is a refinement device” he explains. “You put in fresh milk and get out pasteurized milk. It comes with a mode for lactose free, chocolate, strawberry and blue milk.”

    https://abload.de/img/29.07.23_00-19-248vd9z.png

    “Ingenious, isn’t it? And so adorable!”

    “John? I lowkey wanna hit you with the goat.”

    “No, Daniel. I’m his wife, I get to go first!”


    Credits:
    Farm animals by Severinka: http://sims3s.ru/objects4-animals2.php
    Penthouse lot in the gallery as residential, I think it was called The Hostage
    Phillips family also from the gallery (I replaced Daniel and Emma with my own versions)

  • EnkiSchmidt's avatar
    EnkiSchmidt
    Hero
    2 years ago
    "SERVERFRA;c-18296343" wrote:
    A mini Goat in an apartment, way too funny.?


    I saw a tweet with a sim riding a horse in an apartment, compared to that a mini goat sounds almost sensible :D

    @Lenny_Ogg Exactly! (I always liked this quote.)

    Has this been tried, by the way? Is it possible to keep mini farm animals in penthouses? The Phillips have a huge terrace and the stubborn mindset to match.
  • EnkiSchmidt's avatar
    EnkiSchmidt
    Hero
    2 years ago
    John hears "everywhere" and goes to redecorate the terrace. I also see a scouts project coming up: "Pick up a mini goat, a journal and a camera and then document what happens."

    The little critters really steal the show from horses. Saying that as someone who wanted horses in Sims 4 for a long time.
  • mightyspritesims's avatar
    mightyspritesims
    Seasoned Hotshot
    2 years ago
    That was fun :)

    So, the mini goats are bottle fed like babies, but milked like adults? That is really odd.
    (I don't have the pack)

  • GalacticGal's avatar
    GalacticGal
    Seasoned Ace
    2 years ago
    Thank you for making me laugh. That was wonderful and you know what? Until you brought up the complete impossibility of it, I never stopped to question milking the goats. So far, my Sims haven't milked any. Maybe their AI is way smarter than my human intelligence, after all? :open_mouth: We should stop bottle-feeding the goats. They're not babies, they're mini-adult animals. In fact, one of my Sims clicked on the hay and told the goats and sheep to eat, which they did. So, see? We don't have to play along with this ridiculous charade. LOL
  • EnkiSchmidt's avatar
    EnkiSchmidt
    Hero
    2 years ago
    "GalacticGal;c-18296799" wrote:
    In fact, one of my Sims clicked on the hay and told the goats and sheep to eat, which they did. So, see? We don't have to play along with this ridiculous charade. LOL


    I wasn't aware of that! In the lifestream they showed the bottle feeding and the Negative Thoughts thread is full of mentions of how ridiculous the bottle feed -> milking chain is, giving the impression that it was the only option.

    If we can choose between bottle feeding and feeding hay, that is actually really neat for me as a sandbox player. I can bottle feed a newly purchased mini, pretending she's an infant, and later switch to giving her hay and start milking, pretending she grew up.

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