Black History: No Laughing Matter Walkthrough
In Your Own Words
Auto starts
Quimby: Well, if it isn’t Springfield’s most esteemed doctor, policeman, and… friend of Lenny’s.
Carl: The name is Carl, Mayor.
Quimby: Yes. Carl Mayor. How could I, of all people, forget a name like that?
Quimby: Anyway, this year Springfield is hosting its first public celebration of, uh, February History Month.
Dr. Hibbert: You mean Black History Month?
Quimby: I, er, uh, do not see color.
Quimby: On an unrelated note, would you three colorless gentlemen be interested in speaking at this event for no particular reason whatsoever?
Lou: Tell you what. We’ll speak at your event if you can name three black American mayors.
Quimby: Er uh… Martin Luther? No, that guy was a King, not a Mayor.
Task: Make Lou Grill Mayor Quimby
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Mayor Quimby Sweat
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Quimby: Alright, I give up! I don’t know any black mayors. Although to be fair, I don’t know any white ones either.
Quimby: But will you please speak at this event?
Lou: Sorry, Mayor. I have to protect the streets. They say “crime waits for no man”.
Wiggum: That’s time, Lou. Not crime.
Lou: Oh, you're correcting me now? That's it! I’m taking the day off for this event.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lisa: Dr. Hibbert, I’m doing a Black History report on the black person I look up to most.
Lisa: Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, and Octavia Butler have all passed away, so can I interview you?
Dr. Hibbert: Absolutely. It’s an honor to be fourth on such a short list.
Lisa: You weren’t fourth, and it was a very long list.
Lisa: Could you tell me about how you became a doctor?
Dr. Hibbert: Sure! It almost didn’t happen. I was dangerously close to flunking out of medical school.
Dr. Hibbert: My grades were perfect, but I kept laughing at inappropriate times, like the skinny fellow in that Joker movie. I forget the name of the character he played.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Set the Scene for Lisa
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall
On job start:
Dr. Hibbert: The year was 1975. Or 1995. Depending on what season this is, and how old I am as a character.
Lisa: Huh?
Dr. Hibbert: I had a proud, round, well-moisturized Afro. Which was either current or retro at the time.
Dr. Hibbert: And so did this beautiful woman who walked into my life.
Lisa: Pam Grier?
Dr. Hibbert: I wish! *chuckles*
On job end:
Bernice Hibbert: Are you Julius Hibbert?
Dr. Hibbert: Fortunately for me, I am. And who might you be, gorgeous?
Dr. Hibbert: An angel that fell from heaven, dislocated her shoulder, and now needs me to reset it?
Bernice Hibbert: Close. I’m here to hand you these documents.
Dr. Hibbert: Documents?
Bernice Hibbert: Julius Hibbert, consider yourself a mildly successful urban dance battle movie, because You Got Served!
Dr. Hibbert: Served? Wait, who are you? And what year is this exactly?! The movie You Got Served won’t come out until 2004!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 2
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: So I went to drown my sorrows at Moe’s Tavern, which was a hit with all the med students back then.
Dr. Hibbert: Before that deadly radon leak that took so many of their promising young lives… *chuckles*
Moe: You got served? By, like, a waitress in a sit down restaurant? *sigh* Maybe that’ll be me one day.
Dr. Hibbert: No, you borderline hobo. I’m getting sued! *sigh* I’m not even licensed to practice medicine yet. This could ruin me!
Moe: You want my dangerously unqualified opinion?
Dr. Hibbert: Not when you preface it like that.
Moe: You gotta win this woman’s heart. If you charm her, then maybe she can convince her client not to sue you.
Dr. Hibbert: Hmm. That’s just crazy…
Moe: ...enough to work?
Dr. Hibbert: No, I had completed my sentence. But perhaps some unseen dialogue will convince me.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Consider Moe’s Bad Advice
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Bernice Hibbert: Not-Yet-a-Dr. Hibbert! What are you doing here?
Dr. Hibbert: Well, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.
Dr. Hibbert: So a friend convinced me to follow my heart, come down here, and sing Jodeci songs to you until you agree to go out with me and drop that lawsuit.
Dr. Hibbert: “Eeevery time I close my eeeyes….”
Bernice Hibbert: *calls security*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 3
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: Moe, that was a disaster!
Moe: Hm. Maybe this skirt is one of them classy dames. The kind what don’t like you callin’ em a skirt or a dame.
Moe: I got it! How’s about you get her some flowers. All the ladies I watch through binoculars LOVE flowers.
Dr. Hibbert: …
Moe: It’s not what you think. The ladies are on my neighbor's television. And lucky for me, he died with the TV on. Heh heh heh.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Buy Flowers at a Random Store
Time: 4h
Location: Adult Skateboards
On job start:
Dr. Hibbert: An Adult Skateboard shop? Does that mean you sell skateboards for adults who can’t let go of the past, or erotically-themed skateboards for athletic perverts?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Both!
Dr. Hibbert: Understood. You wouldn’t happen to sell flowers here too, would you?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: We do for the purposes of this quest objective!
On job end:
Dr. Hibbert: Bernice, I’m sorry for how I acted before. I didn’t realize your law offices frowned upon lewd karaoke.
Dr. Hibbert: I got you these flowers as a token of my olive branch.
Bernice Hibbert: Are those roses?
Dr. Hibbert: Yes. Their delicate beauty reminds me of you.
Bernice Hibbert: *throat closes up*
Dr. Hibbert: An allergic reaction! Perhaps you’re a bit more delicate than they are. *chuckles*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 4
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: Well, look who’s still alive! I’m glad you found your EpiPen.
Dr. Hibbert: I was afraid I’d have to perform an emergency tracheotomy, and we haven’t gotten to that chapter in med school yet.
Bernice Hibbert: Even though you almost killed me, I’m glad you were there to keep me from dying.
Dr. Hibbert: The pleasure was all mine. I brought you some rice pudding from the hospital cafeteria.
Bernice Hibbert: My favorite! How did you know?
Dr. Hibbert: It said so on your MedicAlert bracelet.
Bernice Hibbert: Ooh. I like a man who pays attention to detail.
Dr. Hibbert: I know. It also said that on your MedicAlert bracelet too. That thing is quite a read.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Woo Bernice With Poetry
Time: 4h
Location: Vulgary Jewelry Store or Hibbert Family Practice
Dr. Hibbert: I apologize for my spirited performance.
Dr. Hibbert: When I researched the works of Poet Laureate Dolemite, I did not realize his stanzas would be peppered with so many expletives.
Bernice Hibbert: Life is never boring around you, is it Julius?
Dr. Hibbert: Why don’t you stick around and find out?
Dr. Hibbert and Bernice Hibbert: *kiss*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 5
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: Darling, these past few months with you have been a dream.
Dr. Hibbert: I finished medical school, got a residency, and your client agreed to drop the lawsuit against me.
Bernice Hibbert: Well, he didn’t agree to it so much as die. You can’t charge legal fees to a dead man. Believe me, my law firm has tried!
Dr. Hibbert: *gasp* He didn’t die from medical negligence, did he?
Bernice Hibbert: Heavens, no. He was mauled by a panda at the Springfield Zoo.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh thank God! *chuckles*
Bernice Hibbert: Say, since we’ve gotten so serious, I think it’s time you met my family. Particularly my slacker brother, Chester.
Bernice Hibbert: Do you think you could take him under your wing and mentor him? Help him become a staid, somber, serious man like you.
Dr. Hibbert: *chuckles for far too long* I don’t see why not.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Mentor Chester Dupree
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield General Hospital or Hibbert Family Practice
Dr. Hibbert: And that’s the story of how I met your mother.
Lisa: I’m not your child.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Auto starts
Quimby: Well, if it isn’t Springfield’s most esteemed doctor, policeman, and… friend of Lenny’s.
Carl: The name is Carl, Mayor.
Quimby: Yes. Carl Mayor. How could I, of all people, forget a name like that?
Quimby: Anyway, this year Springfield is hosting its first public celebration of, uh, February History Month.
Dr. Hibbert: You mean Black History Month?
Quimby: I, er, uh, do not see color.
Quimby: On an unrelated note, would you three colorless gentlemen be interested in speaking at this event for no particular reason whatsoever?
Lou: Tell you what. We’ll speak at your event if you can name three black American mayors.
Quimby: Er uh… Martin Luther? No, that guy was a King, not a Mayor.
Task: Make Lou Grill Mayor Quimby
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Mayor Quimby Sweat
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Quimby: Alright, I give up! I don’t know any black mayors. Although to be fair, I don’t know any white ones either.
Quimby: But will you please speak at this event?
Lou: Sorry, Mayor. I have to protect the streets. They say “crime waits for no man”.
Wiggum: That’s time, Lou. Not crime.
Lou: Oh, you're correcting me now? That's it! I’m taking the day off for this event.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lisa: Dr. Hibbert, I’m doing a Black History report on the black person I look up to most.
Lisa: Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, and Octavia Butler have all passed away, so can I interview you?
Dr. Hibbert: Absolutely. It’s an honor to be fourth on such a short list.
Lisa: You weren’t fourth, and it was a very long list.
Lisa: Could you tell me about how you became a doctor?
Dr. Hibbert: Sure! It almost didn’t happen. I was dangerously close to flunking out of medical school.
Dr. Hibbert: My grades were perfect, but I kept laughing at inappropriate times, like the skinny fellow in that Joker movie. I forget the name of the character he played.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Set the Scene for Lisa
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall
On job start:
Dr. Hibbert: The year was 1975. Or 1995. Depending on what season this is, and how old I am as a character.
Lisa: Huh?
Dr. Hibbert: I had a proud, round, well-moisturized Afro. Which was either current or retro at the time.
Dr. Hibbert: And so did this beautiful woman who walked into my life.
Lisa: Pam Grier?
Dr. Hibbert: I wish! *chuckles*
On job end:
Bernice Hibbert: Are you Julius Hibbert?
Dr. Hibbert: Fortunately for me, I am. And who might you be, gorgeous?
Dr. Hibbert: An angel that fell from heaven, dislocated her shoulder, and now needs me to reset it?
Bernice Hibbert: Close. I’m here to hand you these documents.
Dr. Hibbert: Documents?
Bernice Hibbert: Julius Hibbert, consider yourself a mildly successful urban dance battle movie, because You Got Served!
Dr. Hibbert: Served? Wait, who are you? And what year is this exactly?! The movie You Got Served won’t come out until 2004!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 2
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: So I went to drown my sorrows at Moe’s Tavern, which was a hit with all the med students back then.
Dr. Hibbert: Before that deadly radon leak that took so many of their promising young lives… *chuckles*
Moe: You got served? By, like, a waitress in a sit down restaurant? *sigh* Maybe that’ll be me one day.
Dr. Hibbert: No, you borderline hobo. I’m getting sued! *sigh* I’m not even licensed to practice medicine yet. This could ruin me!
Moe: You want my dangerously unqualified opinion?
Dr. Hibbert: Not when you preface it like that.
Moe: You gotta win this woman’s heart. If you charm her, then maybe she can convince her client not to sue you.
Dr. Hibbert: Hmm. That’s just crazy…
Moe: ...enough to work?
Dr. Hibbert: No, I had completed my sentence. But perhaps some unseen dialogue will convince me.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Consider Moe’s Bad Advice
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Bernice Hibbert: Not-Yet-a-Dr. Hibbert! What are you doing here?
Dr. Hibbert: Well, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.
Dr. Hibbert: So a friend convinced me to follow my heart, come down here, and sing Jodeci songs to you until you agree to go out with me and drop that lawsuit.
Dr. Hibbert: “Eeevery time I close my eeeyes….”
Bernice Hibbert: *calls security*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 3
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: Moe, that was a disaster!
Moe: Hm. Maybe this skirt is one of them classy dames. The kind what don’t like you callin’ em a skirt or a dame.
Moe: I got it! How’s about you get her some flowers. All the ladies I watch through binoculars LOVE flowers.
Dr. Hibbert: …
Moe: It’s not what you think. The ladies are on my neighbor's television. And lucky for me, he died with the TV on. Heh heh heh.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Buy Flowers at a Random Store
Time: 4h
Location: Adult Skateboards
On job start:
Dr. Hibbert: An Adult Skateboard shop? Does that mean you sell skateboards for adults who can’t let go of the past, or erotically-themed skateboards for athletic perverts?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Both!
Dr. Hibbert: Understood. You wouldn’t happen to sell flowers here too, would you?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: We do for the purposes of this quest objective!
On job end:
Dr. Hibbert: Bernice, I’m sorry for how I acted before. I didn’t realize your law offices frowned upon lewd karaoke.
Dr. Hibbert: I got you these flowers as a token of my olive branch.
Bernice Hibbert: Are those roses?
Dr. Hibbert: Yes. Their delicate beauty reminds me of you.
Bernice Hibbert: *throat closes up*
Dr. Hibbert: An allergic reaction! Perhaps you’re a bit more delicate than they are. *chuckles*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 4
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: Well, look who’s still alive! I’m glad you found your EpiPen.
Dr. Hibbert: I was afraid I’d have to perform an emergency tracheotomy, and we haven’t gotten to that chapter in med school yet.
Bernice Hibbert: Even though you almost killed me, I’m glad you were there to keep me from dying.
Dr. Hibbert: The pleasure was all mine. I brought you some rice pudding from the hospital cafeteria.
Bernice Hibbert: My favorite! How did you know?
Dr. Hibbert: It said so on your MedicAlert bracelet.
Bernice Hibbert: Ooh. I like a man who pays attention to detail.
Dr. Hibbert: I know. It also said that on your MedicAlert bracelet too. That thing is quite a read.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Woo Bernice With Poetry
Time: 4h
Location: Vulgary Jewelry Store or Hibbert Family Practice
Dr. Hibbert: I apologize for my spirited performance.
Dr. Hibbert: When I researched the works of Poet Laureate Dolemite, I did not realize his stanzas would be peppered with so many expletives.
Bernice Hibbert: Life is never boring around you, is it Julius?
Dr. Hibbert: Why don’t you stick around and find out?
Dr. Hibbert and Bernice Hibbert: *kiss*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
No Laughing Matter Pt. 5
Auto starts
Dr. Hibbert: Darling, these past few months with you have been a dream.
Dr. Hibbert: I finished medical school, got a residency, and your client agreed to drop the lawsuit against me.
Bernice Hibbert: Well, he didn’t agree to it so much as die. You can’t charge legal fees to a dead man. Believe me, my law firm has tried!
Dr. Hibbert: *gasp* He didn’t die from medical negligence, did he?
Bernice Hibbert: Heavens, no. He was mauled by a panda at the Springfield Zoo.
Dr. Hibbert: Oh thank God! *chuckles*
Bernice Hibbert: Say, since we’ve gotten so serious, I think it’s time you met my family. Particularly my slacker brother, Chester.
Bernice Hibbert: Do you think you could take him under your wing and mentor him? Help him become a staid, somber, serious man like you.
Dr. Hibbert: *chuckles for far too long* I don’t see why not.
Task: Collect Stethoscopes
Task: Make Dr. Hibbert Mentor Chester Dupree
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield General Hospital or Hibbert Family Practice
Dr. Hibbert: And that’s the story of how I met your mother.
Lisa: I’m not your child.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
