Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale: Tire Fire and Brimstone Walkthrough
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 1
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Ned: Can you help us bring Homer back home for Christmas, Rabbi?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Enough with the C-word already.
Rabbi Krustofsky: No guarantees, but I will pray for divine blessing on your quest.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu.
Ned: ...Melech ha'olam.
Rabbi Krustofsky: How do you know this prayer?
Ned: I try to follow Christ in every way I can — and since he had a bar mitzvah, I had one, too!
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Pray for Divine Guidance
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Ned Out-Pray Rabbi Krustofsky
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Moses: Holy Me, where am I?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Springfield, your Mosesness.
Moses: The one in Egypt, the Sinai, or Palestine?
Rabbi Krustofsky: America. Don't ask.
Moses: Phew. I was wondering where the pyramids were. I mean, I know it was involuntary, but we put a lot of work into them. You'd kind of hope they held up.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 2
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Ned: Our neighbors have been seduced by a cult. We need your help setting them free.
Moses: I can see this city has an acute case of idolatry. I'm going to prescribe immediate smiting for everyone who worships the baby god.
Ned: What, no! That's not a cult!
Rabbi Krustofsky: Called it.
Moses: If symptoms continue, take their two first-born sons and call me in the morning.
Rabbi Krustofsky: That's not the cult we're worried about right now. There's a new one that set up a compound and lured all our people with promises of rides in a spaceship.
Moses: Ah, the old spaceship promo. We tried that with Ezekiel. It gets dusted off every so often.
Moses: I will deliver Homer and Baby Jesus out of captivity. Follow me to the cult compound!
King Herod: Did you say Baby Jesus? Keep your hands off him. He's mine!
Ned: Oh, no, we prayed too hard! That's King Herod!
Ned: What will you do with Baby Jesus when you find him?
King Herod: If I answered that, you'd say I was OUT OF MY MIND!
King Herod: But if you're not completely satisfied with the results, then YOUR BABY JESUS IS FREEEE!
Ned: That's a pretty good deal.
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Wander in the Desert
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
Task: Make Ned Follow Moses Into the Desert
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
Task: Make Marge Follow Moses Into the Desert
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Follow Tiny Footsteps Around
Time: 4h
Location: Homes
Moses: Behold, ye doubters and grumblers and directions-wanters, for we have reached unto the cult compound!
Marge: That's the outlet mall!
Moses: Then verily let us go back to Route 60 and try the other exit.
Marge: When are we going to get there?
Moses: Based on my desert-wandering experience, I foresee an arrival time of roughly thirty years from now, forty tops, depending on traffic.
Marge: *annoyed murmur*
Moses: Be patient, thou blue-haired Jezebel. I am the foremost prophet of the Lord — his uber prophet, you might say — and I have a five-star rating for getting my fares to their destination.
Marge: Who gave you a five-star rating?
Moses: The Israelites. But I think they were trying to butter me up after I caught them practicing idolatry in the back of my caravan.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 3
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The Leader: Jello? The Leader speaking.
Marge: I have a VIP who wants to join your cult. You need to come pick us up.
The Leader: How VIP are we talking about?
Marge: V V V!
The Leader: It's not Lovitz, is it? I mean, I guess he's famous, but…
Marge: No. This VIP says he's a divinely-appointed prophet of the Lord.
The Leader: Kanye! I'll be right there!
Task: Collect Menorahs
Task: Make Marge Tell Moses to Act Like Kanye
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
Task: Make Moses Look Up the False God Kanye
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Bring the Spaceship
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
The Leader: You look familiar. Have we met?
Moses: It depends. Have you read…Leviticus? *begins warming up fire and brimstone*
The Leader: Hmm, don't think I have. Is that the new Grisham?
Moses: No, but I've been wanting to read that. A courtroom drama? How does he come up with that stuff?
Moses: Say, where'd you get that sweet spaceship?
The Leader: Right? Pretty cool, huh? It's a special treat for all Movementarians.
Moses: So wait, I join and I get to ride that thing?
The Leader: All the way to planet Blisstonia.
Moses: Just tell me where to sign!
The Leader: Well, I'd say let's get you some robes, but then it looks like you've already got that covered.
The Leader: Follow me back to the compound!
Moses: Finally, someone's leading ME!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 4
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Baby Jesus: You seen this new guy? What a suck up.
Homer: Pfft, who does he think he is, the second coming of Moses?
Moses: People of the movement! I have inscribed the Leader's laws onto a tablet. And you're not going to believe what his first commandment is!
The Leader: Your boosting of our commandment click-through is most impressive, Moses. You have earned top ranking and an immediate ride in the spaceship.
Baby Jesus: Ah, c'mon!
Homer: Yeah, he just got here!
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Give Moses the VIP Treatment
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Moses Do the Movementarian PR Circuit
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Clean Moses' Socks and Sandals
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Clean Moses' Bathroom
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Inspect Homer's Work
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Inspect Baby Jesus' Work
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
Marge: Homer, there you are.
Homer: Marge? Are you joining The Leader and going into space with me and Baby Jesus?
Marge: Homie, it's time you stop with this Movementarian silliness and come back home. It's almost Christmas and I don't want yet another holiday ruined.
Homer: Aww, you're right, Marge. How could I have been so stupid? Let's go home.
The Leader: Oh, Homer… Want to come test out the new rocket boosters on the spaceship?
Homer: Ooh! Spaceship! *runs off*
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
The Leader: Did you really think it would be that easy, Marge?
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5
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Marge: Your Moses was a complete dud. I wanted to one-star him but I was afraid he'd one-star me.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Yeah, you gotta be careful. Moses is as good as it gets. If he can't lead someone out of captivity, maybe they don't want to be led out of captivity.
Marge: Not to be a "Karen" or anything, but I'd like to speak to Moses' manager.
Rabbi Krustofsky: How is that not being a Karen? That's the definition of being a Karen!
Marge: I'd like to speak with your manager, too.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Let me see if he's available.
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has Rabbi Krustofky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofky Entreat Yahweh
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Marge Worry That She's a Karen
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Rabbi Krustofsky: Alright, look. I'll call Yahweh, but no promises.
Rabbi Krustofsky: ...
Rabbi Krustofsky: It's ringing.
Rabbi Krustofsky: ...
Yahweh: *click* YOU DARE SUMMON ME FROM THE GREAT BEYOND WITH THE UNLAWFUL UTTERANCE OF MY NAME??!!!
Rabbi Krustofsky: I – I'm sorry – I just – there's a woman here–
Yahweh: Heh, I'm just messin' with you, Hyman. Tell her I'm out of the office.
Marge: I can hear you!
Yahweh: Say I'm on a call.
Marge: I heard that too!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Auto starts
Ned: Can you help us bring Homer back home for Christmas, Rabbi?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Enough with the C-word already.
Rabbi Krustofsky: No guarantees, but I will pray for divine blessing on your quest.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu.
Ned: ...Melech ha'olam.
Rabbi Krustofsky: How do you know this prayer?
Ned: I try to follow Christ in every way I can — and since he had a bar mitzvah, I had one, too!
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Pray for Divine Guidance
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Ned Out-Pray Rabbi Krustofsky
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Moses: Holy Me, where am I?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Springfield, your Mosesness.
Moses: The one in Egypt, the Sinai, or Palestine?
Rabbi Krustofsky: America. Don't ask.
Moses: Phew. I was wondering where the pyramids were. I mean, I know it was involuntary, but we put a lot of work into them. You'd kind of hope they held up.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 2
Auto starts
Ned: Our neighbors have been seduced by a cult. We need your help setting them free.
Moses: I can see this city has an acute case of idolatry. I'm going to prescribe immediate smiting for everyone who worships the baby god.
Ned: What, no! That's not a cult!
Rabbi Krustofsky: Called it.
Moses: If symptoms continue, take their two first-born sons and call me in the morning.
Rabbi Krustofsky: That's not the cult we're worried about right now. There's a new one that set up a compound and lured all our people with promises of rides in a spaceship.
Moses: Ah, the old spaceship promo. We tried that with Ezekiel. It gets dusted off every so often.
Moses: I will deliver Homer and Baby Jesus out of captivity. Follow me to the cult compound!
King Herod: Did you say Baby Jesus? Keep your hands off him. He's mine!
Ned: Oh, no, we prayed too hard! That's King Herod!
Ned: What will you do with Baby Jesus when you find him?
King Herod: If I answered that, you'd say I was OUT OF MY MIND!
King Herod: But if you're not completely satisfied with the results, then YOUR BABY JESUS IS FREEEE!
Ned: That's a pretty good deal.
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Wander in the Desert
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
Task: Make Ned Follow Moses Into the Desert
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
Task: Make Marge Follow Moses Into the Desert
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Follow Tiny Footsteps Around
Time: 4h
Location: Homes
Moses: Behold, ye doubters and grumblers and directions-wanters, for we have reached unto the cult compound!
Marge: That's the outlet mall!
Moses: Then verily let us go back to Route 60 and try the other exit.
Marge: When are we going to get there?
Moses: Based on my desert-wandering experience, I foresee an arrival time of roughly thirty years from now, forty tops, depending on traffic.
Marge: *annoyed murmur*
Moses: Be patient, thou blue-haired Jezebel. I am the foremost prophet of the Lord — his uber prophet, you might say — and I have a five-star rating for getting my fares to their destination.
Marge: Who gave you a five-star rating?
Moses: The Israelites. But I think they were trying to butter me up after I caught them practicing idolatry in the back of my caravan.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 3
Auto starts
The Leader: Jello? The Leader speaking.
Marge: I have a VIP who wants to join your cult. You need to come pick us up.
The Leader: How VIP are we talking about?
Marge: V V V!
The Leader: It's not Lovitz, is it? I mean, I guess he's famous, but…
Marge: No. This VIP says he's a divinely-appointed prophet of the Lord.
The Leader: Kanye! I'll be right there!
Task: Collect Menorahs
Task: Make Marge Tell Moses to Act Like Kanye
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
Task: Make Moses Look Up the False God Kanye
Time: 4h
Location: Cactus Rocks, Cactus Patch, Quicksand, Town Plaza, Old mine, Springfield Mall or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Bring the Spaceship
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
The Leader: You look familiar. Have we met?
Moses: It depends. Have you read…Leviticus? *begins warming up fire and brimstone*
The Leader: Hmm, don't think I have. Is that the new Grisham?
Moses: No, but I've been wanting to read that. A courtroom drama? How does he come up with that stuff?
Moses: Say, where'd you get that sweet spaceship?
The Leader: Right? Pretty cool, huh? It's a special treat for all Movementarians.
Moses: So wait, I join and I get to ride that thing?
The Leader: All the way to planet Blisstonia.
Moses: Just tell me where to sign!
The Leader: Well, I'd say let's get you some robes, but then it looks like you've already got that covered.
The Leader: Follow me back to the compound!
Moses: Finally, someone's leading ME!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 4
Auto starts
Baby Jesus: You seen this new guy? What a suck up.
Homer: Pfft, who does he think he is, the second coming of Moses?
Moses: People of the movement! I have inscribed the Leader's laws onto a tablet. And you're not going to believe what his first commandment is!
The Leader: Your boosting of our commandment click-through is most impressive, Moses. You have earned top ranking and an immediate ride in the spaceship.
Baby Jesus: Ah, c'mon!
Homer: Yeah, he just got here!
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Give Moses the VIP Treatment
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Moses Do the Movementarian PR Circuit
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Clean Moses' Socks and Sandals
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Clean Moses' Bathroom
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Patty: Task: Make Patty Inspect Homer's Work
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Selma: Task: Make Selma Inspect Baby Jesus' Work
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Componud, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House or Brown House
Marge: Homer, there you are.
Homer: Marge? Are you joining The Leader and going into space with me and Baby Jesus?
Marge: Homie, it's time you stop with this Movementarian silliness and come back home. It's almost Christmas and I don't want yet another holiday ruined.
Homer: Aww, you're right, Marge. How could I have been so stupid? Let's go home.
The Leader: Oh, Homer… Want to come test out the new rocket boosters on the spaceship?
Homer: Ooh! Spaceship! *runs off*
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
The Leader: Did you really think it would be that easy, Marge?
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5
Auto starts
Marge: Your Moses was a complete dud. I wanted to one-star him but I was afraid he'd one-star me.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Yeah, you gotta be careful. Moses is as good as it gets. If he can't lead someone out of captivity, maybe they don't want to be led out of captivity.
Marge: Not to be a "Karen" or anything, but I'd like to speak to Moses' manager.
Rabbi Krustofsky: How is that not being a Karen? That's the definition of being a Karen!
Marge: I'd like to speak with your manager, too.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Let me see if he's available.
Task: Collect Menorahs
If the user has Rabbi Krustofky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofky Entreat Yahweh
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Marge Worry That She's a Karen
Time: 4h
Location: Temple Beth Springfield, Town Hall or Brown House
Rabbi Krustofsky: Alright, look. I'll call Yahweh, but no promises.
Rabbi Krustofsky: ...
Rabbi Krustofsky: It's ringing.
Rabbi Krustofsky: ...
Yahweh: *click* YOU DARE SUMMON ME FROM THE GREAT BEYOND WITH THE UNLAWFUL UTTERANCE OF MY NAME??!!!
Rabbi Krustofsky: I – I'm sorry – I just – there's a woman here–
Yahweh: Heh, I'm just messin' with you, Hyman. Tell her I'm out of the office.
Marge: I can hear you!
Yahweh: Say I'm on a call.
Marge: I heard that too!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
