Big Maude

Reasons why Big Maude may be the best POI in the game.

1. It's Big Maude. What could possibly go wrong? You load into the game, land Big Maude, get some crafting materials and loot up.

2. What's that? A gold R-301?  You spend 100 materials purchasing that bad boy, and now you have your very own, personalised, paintball distributing machine.

3. You get into a fight. Two fights. Three. Boom. The enemies are splattered to death. You become kill leader. World ender. And you. Are. A winner.

4. You think it wasn't so bad. So you land Big Maude again. Rinse and repeat. Gold Prowler. Gold R-99. Purple Flatline. Purple Spitfire. Purple Wingman. It's all there.

5. You win two, three, four games in a row. Big Maude has gotten to your head. It has made you feel powerful.

6. Big Maude gains sentience. And it punishes you for you arrogance. Big Maude draws in a squad of Predators, offering them tasty loot in return for your death.

7. You try to run, hide, flee, but there is no use. Big Maude is all and controls all. And you die. And yet, you are reborn in the light of Big Maude. 

8. You do not try to understand Big Maude's actions. You are just a disciple. A prophet. Warning the world. Of Big Maude.

Thank you for coming to my Big Maude talk and #BuffMirage.