Gamers need to learn positivity

I absolutely love this post. I think I disagree with a lot of it, but I still love it. And I think a lot of people would benefit from taking it to heart.

My personal feeling though is this: I'm one of those strange people who does NOT believe that the purpose of games is to bring joy to the player. Some games, maybe. But shooters? Competitive multiplayer shooters? Competitive multiplayer Battle Royale shooters? They are designed to crush your spirit. And the way they do this is exactly as you said: getting lost in the maze of the illusion. It's why I game. For the immersion. If a game feels to me like a game then I probably won't give it five minutes. A game that will keep my attention is one that pulls me in and makes me believe. That's what I want it to do. Otherwise it's just pac man. So once I'm in that space then my brain kicks in with what I think of as the real game: How to play in such a way that I feel immersed but can also keep the game from making me feel terrible about bad outcomes. Which is tough because bad outcomes are inevitable. In battle royale they're typically 95% of matches. Those are tough odds if you're trying to maintain the illusion. But I have found ways to do it. My squadmates don't like those ways, but anybody who ever thought they were gonna play in scrub lobbies in an unranked mode in a free-to-play game and then get the likes of aceu or Timmy for a teammate... well, they're dreaming. So it is what it is.

I guess the part of all this where I agree with you 100% is this: I may take the game seriously, maybe too seriously, maybe I put too much value on immersion... but my character is such that there is almost no situation where I would ever blame on someone else what I've done to myself. And it's also such that I would never belittle another player for doing something that I know FOR A FACT is destined to fail. Even when I could, if inclined, describe to them beforehand almost exactly when, how, and why their tactic is doomed. It's my nature to let people make their own mistakes and learn from them. Or not. It's the only way I ever learned anything in life. By doing and failing. Not by being told what to do or by being ridiculed for trying.

So I agree wholeheartedly that we should all approach each other with a lot more tolerance and compassion. Deep breaths are never a bad thing. I'm never so immersed in the illusion that I wouldn't want to offer a teammate a pat on the back or a "sorry that happened," or a good old fashioned "gg."

I agree 100%.  I put a post up ages ago trying to get people to highlight the reason they love the game.  I have many.  It'e easy to be critical (I have been critical about matchmaking over and over so I'm guilty).   The good outweighs the bad to be sure.

Splendid point of view. When you feel like reality itself is some kind of a sophisticated game. You will be disappointed to find out that it has so many flaws in itself as if though it was an unpolished game. This is what makes the thread of life so thin to me. I watch those realities in ''Video games'' and wonder: What separates them from life? Just as there are rules that control life so there are ones that determines laws in those games. And I came to the realization that nothing is not real as long as you are sensing it then it exists in this game of life.

Not sure if positivity is top priority for gamers.

IMO top 3 priorities are:

1. learn how to follow the rules of the game, read the manual before playing approach
2. learn how to talk with people, the fact that you are shielded by anonymity of internet does not give you green light to talk in the way you would never dare to in real life scenario
3. learn how to deal with feedback, criticism

We need to understand that games like Apex are high stress environments if we talk about ranked especially - people get there to rank up = losing is not good outcome, negative RP is neither. Creates flight or fight response in our brains that do come with some negative emotions. It's fine as long as people do not play as you said with the goal to just trash-talk other person (which many do).

Another things is having fun...don't forget that you having fun might lead to other people having worst day of their lives. It is not 1v1 or no-fill game, it is TEAM 3v3 game. Getting back to "reading the manual" point above.

Unfortunately in Apex there are very few motivators that encourage people to teamwork, share loot, communicate and thus you get so much negativity which partly is encouraged by developer but mostly facilitated by community via what can be summarized by "ego playing" be it ego dunking on kids type of play or all loot is mine alone.