An Alternate Slice of Reality

Dear scoundrel,

You will be no doubt happy to hear that I have been released by the authorities in Brindleton Bay as all evidence against me has mysteriously disappeared. No one is more flabbergasted than I. Without any evidence of any crime, I am free to go.

In other news, the investigative department in Brindleton Bay received some brand, new vending machines that look splendid in the office. Although for some reason, the janitor keeps moving them about to see where they look the best. I am sure that he will eventually decide where to leave them.

Now on to business: I am sending you to the mountain. You've spent far too long diddling around. But before you go, I have decided to give you some time to contemplate your life's choices.

She has lovely eyes. I gave you that. I am sure it will be okay with you that all the hair she has is on her back and legs rather than on her head. I have made her a redhead. Mainly because I couldn't stand the black leg hair and the blonde leg hair wasn't thick enough. She's playful, so that should be fun. She's also high maintenance so that should keep you on your toes. I am sorry to say that she is also lazy. I felt you might enjoy lots of cuddling, so I made it that she wouldn't try to get away when holding her.

She also can't sing or cook. And she's not at all bright. But if you read children's literature to her, very slowly, she might catch on to the story. She's also very shy so it's rather difficult to take a photo of her.

She's utterly boring. And I 'm afraid that she can't remember your name but as long as you call her shnookums, she will remember that she is supposed to pretend to like you.

You're only in San Myshuno temporarily. I have a nice container house on the way to Magnolia Springs where the two of you will be able to enjoy lots of time together, undisturbed.

I'll check back with you in a bit, to see if you are ready to go to the mountain.

With great affection,
Monet11