What do you mean the elevators are just ornamental?!!

I spent three hours trying to figure out why my elevator was stuck on one floor and ruined my house in the process! You know what's a better description than "Elevator goes up, up. Down, down!"? This "This elevator is fake elevator! You can not build elevators with this elevator! It's an ex-elevator! This elevator has ceased to be! And it's not pining for the upper floors!"