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cgambler12 wrote:

To my understanding, only one EA account can be linked to one Xbox Account in its life time, however I’m not sure if this goes both ways

Account linking is a bit confusing, but how it works is that once you link a platform account to your EA Account, it does create a lifetime link with that platform account to help protect your EA Account. 

In your case, this would mean that you won't be able to use another Xbox Account on that deactivated EA Account since it had already been linked to your Xbox Account, (not that you were planning on using that deactivated EA Account anyways), however, when you do get your Xbox Account unlinked from that deactivated EA Account, you will be able to link it to your EA Account, (as long as your EA Account had never been linked to another Xbox Account before in its lifetime).

Note: If you had played Apex before, your Apex progress and data is stored on the connected EA Account, (which would be the deactivated EA Account), so if you were hoping to bring anything over to your EA Account, you sadly won't be able to. 

Furthermore, once your Xbox Account is linked to your EA Account, it will start storing future Apex progress and data on your EA Account, (instead of the deactivated EA Account, since its no longer linked to it). Also, unlinking in general does have its risks as you could lose access to some, (or all), your Apex progress and data on other connected platforms, (even if you relink the unlinked platform account).

cgambler12 wrote:
so how can I unlink a deactivated account from the Xbox side that’s no longer in use?

Lastly, like what EA_Aljo​ had said, you would need to contact EA Support about getting the Xbox Account unlinked from the deactivated EA Account as there's sadly no way to do it from Xbox's side of things.