I really cant believe they are this bad at making the game.
There is simply NO WAY a multi-billion dollar company, with motion capture studios, real athletes, game engines that could simulate the surface of Mars, and enough data to predict my next breakup… somehow made defenders that actively part like the Red Sea every time Mbappé sprints in a straight line.
You’re telling me this is unintentional?
No. This is a social experiment. I refuse to believe otherwise.
Somewhere at EA HQ there’s a whiteboard that says:
“How far can we push them before they buy Ultimate Team points?”
And every year its the same answer: “Further.”
Passing: You aim left. Power it perfectly.
Your player: “So… straight to the defender, yeah?”
Tackling is just a suggestion now. You win the ball 3 times and it still rebounds back to the opponent.
And the AI teammates... You’re getting pressed by 4 players and your striker is hiding behind a defender like he owes you money.
You dominate all game. 15 shots. Their keeper turns into Prime Buffon.
They counter once in the 89th minute, your CB forgets how legs work, goal.
This isn’t football.
This is Emotional Damage Simulator 26.
