The Sims 3 won't open (launcher or .exe file)

This will be a long explanation, but I don't know where the problem is, so I don't want to leave out anything important.

I have been playing the game for a few months, several expansion packs installed, without much of a problem. I have a ton (and I mean a ton) of installed CC, both packages in a MOD folder, and sims3packs.

I pollinated one of my Sims, using NRAAS's master controller, and when I went to edit the baby in CAS, to change the name, it looked like a monster. Ended up one of the Sims I had downloaded from the Sims3 exchange came along with a strange woman's shirt that had the wrong ages on it, and that was what the baby was wearing, and why it looked so strange.

I tried to remove the sims3pack, using the method shown here: http://simsfaq.tumblr.com/post/32589213473/simhelaene-i-thought-id-post-a-little-guide-to and deleted both the thumbnail and item. When I next opened my game, I got the message that some items are missing and have been replaced, and when I looked around my home, I realized that ALL sims3pack items were now gone from my game. I opened up buy mode, and could see the placeholders still there for them, but with no picture, and not clickable. I read through the instructions on that site again, and realized I hadn't cleared my cache. D'oh!

So I created a new save, just in case, closed the game, cleared my cache, using Delphy's Dashboard, which I've done plenty of times before, without any problems, but this time...PROBLEM. Major problem. I try to open the Sims 3 Launcher, and it sits there in my Task Manager in Processes stuck at 551,716 k memory, and doesn't show up in Applications. I've closed the Process, and the Process Tree from the Task Manager, but it does no good. Always the same thing. I've left it sit overnight, the memory use never budges, and it never shows up in Applications.

I tried to skip the Launcher altogether, because I've had nothing but issues with it (haven't we all?), and opened the game directly from the .exe. This gives me a black screen, and the spinny 'Windows 7 is thinking' pointer wheel, like it's going to load the Maxis splash screen, but nothing. I open up the Task Manager, and it says Sims 3 not responding. Like automatically. Again, I tried to let it sit overnight, (because sometimes with the Sims 3, it will go from not responding, eventually to working) but again, time didn't do the trick.

Plan C was an uninstall and reinstall. This worked. Yeah. The Sims 3 Launcher opened, memory use was about a million and clicking along, like it should be, and I was ecstatic...but right away, it said I needed to upgrade my game, and patched me from 1.0 to 1.67, and then I was back to square one. As soon as that happened, Sims 3 Launcher won't open, .exe doesn't respond. 

So....... Help. Please.