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MrGiggleTickle
Seasoned Newcomer
3 years ago

DoodlyDoofus Presents:.........This (Now on Generation 10)

Prologue

The year is 2014 in a little country called Simerica, whom at the time were locked in an intergalactic war with the Extraterrestrial species known as the Sixamsians...Yeah it was an eventful year. Back then things were a bit too.....vanilla for most people's tastes, I mean for crying out loud, there were only two towns that were inhabitable. One of them being Willow Creek.


But the town we're focusing on right now is called Oasis Springs. This is where we'll see characters such as young Katrina Caliente.


Here we see Katrina receiving an important letter from The Simerican army about her newlywed husband.


"What do you mean my Husband was killed in the battle of Sixam?!" Katrina exclaimed "We were about to have twins, now who's going to help me raise these brats?!"


Of course right after Katrina screamed to the heavens it seemed like her prayers had been answered as a total hunk of a man jogged past her.


"Oh heeeey" Katrina said seductively as she followed her future boytoy down the street. Just an example of who we could expect to see in this town.



Or we can travel to the other side of town and see the newly engaged Geoffrey Smith and Nancy Landgraab having lunch at the local cafe.


"Nancy, you have made me the happiest man in the world." Geoffrey gushed. "I can't wait until we walk down that aisle as Mr and Mrs Smith."


"Who said we were taking your last name?" Nancy said rather coldly.


Geoffrey just chuckled the comment away "Ha, funny joke Nancy.....It was just a joke right?........Right?"


Nancy just sat there in silence as Geoffrey's chuckling got a little more nervous with each passing second.



But here we'll see the home of our true star of this story, The Baxter residence.


Meet Edgar Baxter, born in 1988. He's had no ambitions his entire life but surely now that he's the star of his own story, he'll have his own interesting adventures to take part in.

"Me? Oh no, find someone else to be the star, I have nothing interesting going on with my life." Edgar responded.

Wait......But you're our protagonist, you can't just refuse to be our main character. Whose life are we going to follow without you in the picture?


"Well my wife's about to pop out a baby literally any day now. Perhaps you can focus this story on the kid?" Edgar suggested.

Fine, we'll wait patiently for that baby to arrive. He better be pretty interesting Edgar, we've already wasted too much time to go start somewhere else.


Meet Aria Baxter, born in 1990. She's lived a pretty unremarkable life just like Edgar here.

"Oh thanks, can't wait to hear what you say behind my back." Aria responded with pure snide in her voice.


Back then the laws in Simerica were pretty.....strict to say the least, didn't leave much in the way of "content". For instance, swimming pools were banned for quite a while down there.

"I know, what's the deal with that?" Aria questioned, "We live out in the plum desert and we're not allowed to go swimming?"


If that's not bad enough, back then even ghosts were outlawed! Coming back from the dead as a ghost was not tolerated in the slightest. Look what happened when Edgar's father, Pappy Baxter finally rose from his grave.

"Heya kids, I'm finally back!" Pappy exclaimed with pure bliss "When do I get to see that grandchild of mine?"


That is when the police showed up out of nowhere, immediately rounding Pappy up and hauling him off to god knows where they brought the ghosts breaking the "No Ghosts" law.


"Huh, wonder if we'll ever see my dad again." Edgar questioned.


Oh finally, here comes our protagonist. Now we wait patiently for Aria to deliver this baby.


"Too bad there aren't any hospitals open anywhere in this country. We're going to have to deliver this baby on the couch!" Edgar said with fear in his voice.



So let's finally meet the protagonist of this first generation, Edward Baxter.


Aria got right to work taking care of the baby. After all, she's not exactly sure that Edgar will step up and be a responsible father.


In fact, Edgar just stood over the bassinet holding his newborn and just slowly turned to the camera....

"Now that's what I call a baby!" Edgar said with a wink before walking away from the child.


A few months later, the Baxter family's prayers had been answered. Swimming has been legalized in Simerica, they could now own their own swimming pool.


"Hey wait a minute, how can we even afford a swimming pool?" Aria questioned Edgar "Your job at the local McDonald's doesn't pay you well enough to afford something like this!"

"Well here's the fun part my dear." Edgar responded with pride in his voice.


Turns out the first 'Expansion' to come to Simerica brought forth several job opportunities. Edgar has finally decided to follow his dream of being a police officer.

 


"911 what's your emergency?" Edgar asked as he picked up the distress call "You're being murdered? That's impossible, they can't murder you. That's illegal. This call is reserved for emergencies, Ma'am."

No one ever said Edgar would be a good cop.


Sometime later, there was a knock on the door of the Baxter residence.


Standing at the door was a Sixamsian, native of the planet Sixam (In case you couldn't put two and two together).

"Howdy neighbor, don't know if you heard, but the war between our people has come to an end." The Alien said with a smile "This means my kind can live on this planet along side you humans!"

"Well I'm always happy to meet new people!" Edgar responded with a firm handshake.



The year is now 2016, Edward is now a growing toddler.


Aria of course spends her time tirelessly helping develop Edward's growing brain and doing a plum fine job at it I might add.


"Off to work, hun." Edgar said as he paced by his family.

"What's with the gown?" Aria asked "You wear that to the Station now?"

"Of course not, I quit that job. I'm a doctor now." Edgar responded as he headed out the door "They didn't even interview me, they just threw me a scalpel and said they needed new Doctors ASAP."

I am now worried about the country's healthcare system.


In the year 2020, Edgar was able to buy a bigger house with his Doctor paychecks in Willow Creek


Here we see 6 year old Edward, practicing the violin as Aria thought he'd make for a great musician.


One day he'll be great, that day isn't today.


"What do you mean you just quit your job?!" Aria shouted angrily "I thought you said being a Doctor was your greatest dream!"


"Things have changed babe." Edgar responded with pride. "My dream is with The Crew."


In the last few years Windenburg went from a village that didn't have indoor plumbing to a sprawling city with a bumping late night scene. Edgar quit his job to join The Crew which was at the time, the most popular group to hit the nightclubs of Windenburg.


I don't personally like the fact that Edgar quit his job for this, but by golly, The Crew sure are cooler than cool.


It's okay, Edgar eventually matured enough to quit that silly phase and get back to work. Now he's a Scientist.



The year is now 2030, Edward is now a strapping 16 year old man. I say 'man' because he'll get angry if you say he's still a kid.


Edward still has a lot to learn about the world around him though.

"Top of the morning, fellas!" Edward exclaimed to the two punks he wanted to befriend.


"Keep walking you dweeb" The punk with the baseball bat ordered.

"Ah, sorry for bothering you." Edward said, trying to keep his cool as he runs away in fear.


He didn't have the greatest luck with girls back then either. Like here he is with Nina Caliente.

"Hey Nina, wanna go to the Rattlesnake Bar tonight?" Edward asked suavely.

"Ech, as if." Nina sneered, dejecting him.


"How about you, Dina?" Edward said, moving his goalposts over.

"Buzz off, creep." Dina responded.


Sometime later, Edgar heard a knock at the door. Of course Edgar just had to see who was bothering him.


"Hey Neighbor, did you hear about San Myshuno? They finally finished construction on the place. It sure beats the crud out of Willow Creek" Edgar's Neighbor said excitedly.

"San Myshuno? Last I heard that was nothing more than a toxic waste dump!" Edgar responded with, "Sounds like the perfect place to bring the family!"


He's not wrong, San Myshuno really has stepped up from the toxic waste dump that was once known as a dumping zone for the Mafia only a few decades ago. Now it's a bustling metropolis.


That's when the Baxters were approached by a pretty shady looking fellow. What's his name I may ask?

"Heya folks, Mayor Victor Feng here. Welcome to San Myshuno!" Mayor Feng said with a warm smile.


"Hi Mayor Feng, I'm Edgar Baxter, prominent art critic." Edgar responded with.

"Art critic? What happened to science?!" Aria asked.


"Well I'll cut to the chase, fella. I might be the Mayor right now but I'm aiming my sights high." Mayor Feng went on, "I'm planning on running for the Presidency, I hope to be the First President of Simerica! I intend to bring a sense of law and order to this lawless country."


"Law and Order sounds great, I got mugged four times last week. I only survived the last one because the mugger stabbed me in the scar tissue I had from the time I got stabbed 3 years ago." Edgar explained.


"Wait wait wait, none of this makes any sort of sense." Aria interrupted.


"You're telling me that Simerica has been an established country for almost a hundred years." She went on "And it's only after we get our first major city that we're finally getting a President? You're telling me for all these decades we've never had a leader of any sort?! Yet we have a Police Force?! Who came up with the laws that the Police follow in this country?" Aria continues to rant.


Everyone stood around in complete stunned silence until Victor finally answered.

"Well when you say it out loud like that, it sure sounds stupid as sin." Victor says bluntly.


However in that moment, a couple of cops rushed the area and handcuffed Aria.

"Ma'am, you're under arrest for asking too many stupid questions! Comply or die!" The Cop orders.


As Aria is lifted onto the helicopter all we can hear is her screaming.

"What did I even do?!" Aria shouts into the sky.


Edgar just stood around in silence.

"I wonder if I'll ever see her again." Edgar asks with fear.