graphical options go blank and game sets up to low graphics settings

olchaos  Please provide a dxdiag.  Click Windows key-R, enter dxdiag in the run box, wait for the scan to finish, click "Save all information," and save the file to your desktop.  From there, you can attach it to a reply using the paper clip (Attachment) icon included with the other formatting buttons.

Please also provide the first 40 or so lines (stop when you get to Options) of Config.log, in Documents > Electronic Arts > The Sims 4.  You can delete your user and computer names, about 20 lines down; the file doesn't contain any other personal information.

here it goes:
=== Application info ===
Name:            Sims4
Version:         1.113.297.1020
Build:           Release DX11 64-bit
=== Rating info ===
GPU: 5 GPU Memory: 4 CPU: 4 RAM: 4 CPU Speed: 2688 Threading: 3
Adjusted CPU: 3832 RAM: 32469 Adjusted RAM: 31957 Cores: 10
=== Machine info ===
OS version:      Windows 11 10.0.27823
OS prod type:    
OS major ver:    10
OS minor ver:    0
OS SP major ver: 
OS SP minor ver: 
OS is 64Bit:     1
CPU:             GenuineIntel
    Brand:       12th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-12650H
    Family:      6
    Model:       10
    Cores:       10
    HT:          1
    x64:         1
Memory:          32469MB
Free memory:     19367MB
VA space:        134217728MB
User:            ---
Computer:        ---
=== Graphics device info ===
Number:          0
Name (driver):   Intel(R) UHD Graphics
Name (database):  [Found: 0, Supported: 1]
Vendor:          Intel
Chipset:         Vendor: 8086, Device: 46a3, Board: 13b61462, Chipset: 000c
Driver:          , Version: 31.0.101.5592, GUID: 840FCBC3-0A80-11F0-B90D-C52216ADDB66
Driver version:  5592
Monitor:         \\.\DISPLAY2
Texture memory:  4058MB
Vertex program:  5.0
Pixel program:   5.0
Hardware TnL:    1
Opt. features:   
it seems its only detecting my onboard intel graphics card, and the nvidia gpu its secondary?

olchaos  Right, and the dxdiag says that components of the Nvidia driver aren't digitally signed, as in, the driver isn't WHQL, which would be strange for an Nvidia product that wasn't in beta.  So there may be something wrong with the install of the driver.

Before doing anything else though, try forcing Sims 4 to use the Nvidia GPU.  You can do so in the Nvidia Control Panel, if you still have it installed (as opposed to the Nvidia App).  Right-click the desktop, select the CP, click Manage 3D Settings > Program settings, select TS4_Launcher_x64, and choose the high-performance option.  Do the same for TS4_x64.

If this doesn't help, try doing a clean uninstall of this driver and installing a slightly older one.  Here's how to clean-uninstall the driver:

https://crinrict.com/blog/2019/02/clean-re-install-of-graphics-drivers-with-display-driver-uninstaller-ddu.html

Just in case there's some issue with the newest driver, you can grab an older version here:

https://www.nvidia.com/en-us/geforce/drivers/

The one from March 5 should be fine, or a slightly older one, but make sure you're choosing a Game Ready Driver, not one of the Studio drivers.

Since you can always update to a newer driver by simply installing it, but you'd need to DDU a newer driver before installing an older one, it's best to start with an older version and work your way forwards if you're interested in testing multiple versions at all.