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dSKyNafinchin's avatar
dSKyNafinchin
Hero
4 years ago

Re: SBMM makes it impossible to play with friends.

@DangleKing666SBMM really does make it more necessary to play with people of similar skill level, you're absolutely right! It sucks for them, playing against the players that your SBMM pulls in, but on the other side of the same coin, it would suck for lower-skilled enemies that you trounce, if SBMM pulled more people around your friend's levels. I am lucky enough to not have to deal with this on Apex, as me and my two buddies are very close in skill level. I do, however, deal with this issue on Halo. Me and one of my buddies have been playing Halo since CE (20+ years), and one of our other buddies is very new to Halo in general. We literally can not play ranked when he is on, because he is just not up to par, and that is in no way an insult to him! He just doesn't have the experience that we have, and cant hang with us in competitive modes.

From personal experience, I found it worked best to just be honest with him, and let him know that it's nothing personal. He didn't take any issue with it, and we just stick to either other playlists on Halo, or we play one of the multiple other games that we all play together. You sound like you have a similar group of gaming friends as me, and have been gaming with them for numerous years, so honesty may be the best policy here. Considering how long you've been playing together, a simple conversation could solve everything.

Best of luck to you!! I know how great it is to have a group of close friends to game with, so hopefully it all works out for the best!

Edit: For giving advice about gameplay, just a bit of advice from my own experiences with it. I have the same issue with my buddies from time to time. I have noticed though, that it really helps when we offer advice when we are not currently in a match. Tensions/adrenaline run high in the heat of combat, so even a simple suggestion or piece of advice, can come across as insulting/degrading to their skill/ego/pride. I have much better luck when I wait until the lobby, once we are more relaxed, and then it is much easier to discuss what happened, and what we could/should have done different.

3 Replies

  • DangleKing666's avatar
    DangleKing666
    4 years ago

    I loved your answer... thank you for taking the time to provide such a detailed reply. I think your right about just having a conversation with them and coming to accept the fact were on very different levels... I just hope they take it well. I dont want to seem like a * because I was the one who got them playing it in the first place and now I'm going to tell them we can't play anymore because they're bad? Obviously I won't say it like that but I feel like no matter how I word it that's how it's going to come off... one of them is kind of a hot head and takes things personally so this could be interesting. Any suggestions? 😅

  • hayhor's avatar
    hayhor
    Hero
    4 years ago
    @dSKyNafinchin I agree with you in only giving major advice outside the game. Even then it can be bad tho. Some people will take it as criticism.
  • dSKyNafinchin's avatar
    dSKyNafinchin
    Hero
    4 years ago
    @DangleKing666 No problem at all! I feel your struggle, so I felt compelled to share my experience in similar situations.

    As for the friend that takes things personally, I would personally stress that it is the built-in SBMM that is making the lobbies so hard, because of your rank. There really isn't a great way to sugar-coat the gap in skill level, so just emphasize that it is absolutely nothing personal, and that you're simply trying to figure out how to proceed so that the whole group has fun, and enjoys playing. I would suggest sticking to pubs when they are on Apex with you, but public lobbies are incredibly sweaty these days, so it might be best to just play one of your other games when it's all of you. My one buddy that is still pretty new to Halo, will still play with us most days. He just gets frustrated with the game fairly quickly, so we end up switching to another game (GTA or Apex, usually), and none of us mind. My little group has been gaming together for a good decade now, and we have all come to realize that we are here to play games and have fun. We rib each other all the time about missed shots and losing 1v1's and whatnot, but we know it's nothing personal. We definitely have had some arguments over the years, but we just move past it and learn from it. As long as you are not disrespectful about it, they should be able to understand, given how long you've been friends/gaming buddies.

    @hayhor You're absolutely right. I tend to try to offer advice to people like that, in the form of a "suggestion". Instead of saying "You should have done this or that", I'll frame it as "If that were me, I would have tried to do this or that", and ask if they think it would have changed the outcome. That way it doesn't come across as direct criticism, and more like brainstorming/asking for opinion.

    Using OP's example about advice to his friend about peeking as an example. If I saw my friend die because of this, I might say something (in a lighthearted/joking tone of voice) along the lines of "Yea man, you gotta be really careful with repeated peeking. I've been killed sooo many times doing that. I had to force myself to peek from different locations/elevations to confuse the enemy and try to give myself an advantage." Or something like that. That way it doesn't disturb anyone's pride/ego, but I still get the suggestion across. I've found that if I simply plant the seed (Inception, Lol), a lot of people will absorb the suggestion/advice subconsciously.

    Sorry for such a long post

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