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I've had this issue too. What I do is always keep my families as an active household and make sure that neighborhood stories AND aging are off from all active households. Then I ensure that I play a very strict amount of days in each household (so that they all age at the same speed) and don't bother the other households during work hours. Calling them to visit or visiting while they are meant to be at work can end up spawning them on the lot as if the family had never even gone to work (at least for me). So I do family visits during their days off or late in the evening, to try and make sure I don't interfere with their work.
It is super frustrating tho that they feel almost "still" while I'm not playing with a specific family. Like they aren't living at all and just * up stuff.
Maybe turning on neighborhood stories for the families you aren't playing with might make them feel more lively, but I don't want to risk someone adopting 7 dogs or switching jobs from a stage 10 doctor to a lvl 1 fisherman. XD
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