No realease to spriti world

My sim died and normally their is an option to release to netherworld but that option has vanished and I don't want the urn or gravestone and can't get rid of it.

Also grim gets stuck on my lot for days after anyone dies, I travel and come back, turn console off do a new save etc and he still there sometimes he sits in different places but he won't leave and won't let me talk to him or anything