My game is total mess after the update

Anubis1983  Among the steps you took, did you try playing in a clean folder?  If not, please do so now.  Move the entire Sims 4 folder out of Documents > Electronic Arts and onto your desktop.  When you launch the game, a clean folder will spawn with no content.  (Your saves and other content will be intact in the folder you've moved but temporarily unread by the game.)  Don't add anything to the new folder yet; just start a new save and see how it runs.

If that doesn't help, please try playing in a new admin Windows account.  Make it local, as in, don't link it with your Microsoft account or any email address.  You'll be able to launch the game without reinstalling anything, but your user data won't be available.

Let me know which problems persist in each instance.  Either troubleshooting step could solve some but not all of them, and that's helpful information too.

I tried to do that clean folder thing and then launch the game again. But then the screen was like in the picture, then the game crashed and i got a "Unable to start. The game has run out of memory.  (223471fd:0d5ce4eb:000000c8:00000000)

I have enough memory because the game launched just fine before doing that clean folder thing. 

I made a new admin Windows account and launched the game. It opened, but everything was still the same.

 I tried to load a game, but none of the sims had money so I couldnt move anywhere.
I tried to create a new sims, it opened but before even starting then white screen and crashed. 
It gave "Command at 0x000000001b7250bf referenced memory at 0x0000000106400000. Memory could not be read. "

Anubis1983  Please try playing in a clean boot, still in the new account.

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/topic/how-to-perform-a-clean-boot-in-windows-da2f9573-6eec-00ad-2f8a-a97a1807f3dd

The one service to leave enabled is the EABackgroundService, which the EA App needs in order to run.  Disable the rest as described.

When you reboot your computer, go through the Task Manager's background processes list shutting down any service that doesn't absolutely need to be running, for example anything from MSI Afterburner to RGB software might still be enabled.  If you accidentally kill a critical process and it doesn't restart on its own, just reboot your computer again.

Don't open anything other than Sims 4 and the EA App while testing, not even a browser window.

If this helps, you can selectively reenable services until you find the culprit, then either leave that disabled or (if it belongs to an app you want to keep using) let me know what it is so we can try to fix the underlying issue.

If the game freezes or crashes in a clean boot, please try again, except with your computer offline, and with your antivirus disabled.  You can sign into the EA App and put it in offline mode, then disable wifi and/or disconnect the ethernet cable before pressing Play.  For the antivirus, it's safe to disable it while your computer is offline; just remember to reenable it afterwards.

I found the problem, it's completely related to the family because when I cleaned my mods and entered with the same family, I got the same error again. Then, I restored my mods and created a new family, and there was no issue. You can fix it this way.

I dont use any mods in my game. 

I did what you said. I made a new admin, enabled EABackgroundService and disabled the rest.
Yes, my game started to run and it works. 
I will now start to reenable services and when I find the culprit, I will let you know.