I realized why this game sucks and why it is mentally exhausting

I started playing this game in mid-season 3, it was my very first BR game, and I loved it.

I was grinding the game since then, I wanted to improve, I spent a large amount in my free time to practice, watched tips on youtube, and tried to adopt it in-game.

Then season 6 came in and after 2 days I realized I can throw all my effort into the bin because the skill gap between players is gone, I uninstalled the game just to have a break, after a week I went back in (yesterday) and I realized why my mental patience has dried out

Server Connection

Yesterday, as someone who soloq since day 1 I had the best teammates for the first time, great communication, super nice talented guys, great rotation, measuring fights, we where winning, 2 squads left and then suddenly error "Connection lost to the server" tried to rejoin, nope, that game is just gone

I get an apex pack, suddenly I see 3 gold lines, my heart rushes me saying "Yay 3 legendary items " then the animation freezes and I get the code:net error, the pack is gone

Game number 3, rubberband, can't even move, when I moved to a direction it kept throwing me back to the same position like a replay, I ask teammate "are you lagging?" his response "bro I can't even move" okay it's not me then

Teammates

This is one the most difficult thing as a soloq player, and it is with me since day one, all over and over again. It really surprises me that people are still braindead after 6 seasons, mindlessly rushing into fights when they hear gunshots dying in 2 seconds, dropping hot to a location where there are already 5 squads so every character from the game can punch you out at the same time, and not to mention the angry toxic players who are already down you try to save them by trying to 1v3 and he constantly screams into the mic how much a loser you are.

And the looters, looting the same area for 15 mins and they die to the ring or get gatekept

Thieves who steal your loot in front of your nose, I had this pathfinder yesterday I never saw anybody looting so fast, he emptied 3 boxes under 2 seconds screwing me up by leaving nothing, yup we got into a fight I died coz I had no ammo and no bins around 

These 2 things are with me since day one and I am so surprised who I could play this game for 10 months straight every day

But what killed me completely toward the game is the following 

Recoil

I follow quite a few streamers who stream apex, and I saw several posts about their recoil that it is a bit weird, I never placed any huge attention to it since yesterday

I know that in season 6 the recoil has been hugely reduced but a minimal recoil is still there, I watched 2 streamers and I noticed when they fire with any gun with no attachments or attachments, they are beaming people in a straight line.

I wnt to their youtube channel and scrolled back to season 5 and 4 gameplays, it was the same

Nobody should tell me, that these people are so damn talented that they can hold the recoil of every gun in a straight line, that is not possible.

Second, when they have a mouse cam view, there is not even the slightest sign that they are doing anything to reduce the recoil, I realized this when I remembered this YouTuber who shown how to reduce the recoil on the flatline, he showed his mouse view and you could see the movement to reduce it, but still, it wasn't a straight line, the recoil was reduced but you could still see the bullet movement in a certain way

And the third thing, have you guys noticed since season 6, because there is no skill gap between players because of the recoil reduction and the TTK most of them who made 20 bombs and kills between 10-15 are now just making between 3-5?

This hit me hard, I invested my time to be better at this game, and these so-called pros just get away with using macros?

I am out

Great game pounded into the dirt

GG's